HELPING KIDS GET READY FOR SLEEP

General Tips

We can teach children to value relaxation and quiet time, and to look forward to going to sleep. Even children who don’t have trouble sleeping need to know how to calm down and unwind from their day.

Here are some tips to make bedtimes easier:

Figure out why. If your child is resisting going to bed, or says “I’m not tired,” or has trouble falling or staying asleep, think about what might be the source of the problem.

Maybe your child is afraid of being alone or in the dark. Have there been small life changes in your family recently, like schedule changes or visitors? Or big life changes, like illness, divorce or death in the family, or has your family moved to a new city or neighborhood? Maybe your child is too wound up and tense to relax for sleep. Sometimes when parents are stressed and exhausted, children can absorb their tensions, too. Our tensions and moods are contagious to those close to us.

Keep in mind that children have unique temperaments with different energy levels and different degrees of sensitivity to stimulation from their environment. Know your child's traits. Maybe your child is truly needing more positive time and attention from a parent. Understanding the source of the problem helps you to develop a strategy.

A firm time. Regardless of the source of the sleep problem, choose a consistent time - within a 15-minute range -- for your child to go to bed. Be respectful but firm in sticking to this rule. Don’t allow yourself to get into an argument or long explanation about why the bedtime is this instead of that.

Set the stage every night. Design a regular going-to-bed routine that includes comforting closeness between you and your child. Establish a sequence in which each activity follows the other in a similar order every night. Predictable routine gives children a feeling of security.

Calm activities. Slow down all activities at least an hour before bedtime. Of course, daily exercise and fresh air are important for good sleep, too, but not within the hour or two before bedtime.

Limit caffeinated drinks and chocolate. Be aware that caffeine-- including sodas, colas, and tea-- past mid-afternoon may keep your child awake at night.

A calm room. Try to create a calm space near your child’s bed, without a lot of toys or distractions. Ideally, there would be no TV, computers or video games in the room. If any of these are in the room, turn them off well before bedtime.

Timer reminder. At least 20 to 30 minutes beforehand, remind your child of the approaching time to go to bed. You can then set a kitchen timer at, say 20 minutes, and let the ding signal “It’s that time!”

Provide rewards. Set up a positive-behavior incentive system, for example, a point-reward chart. Using this system, you’d not only compliment your child when she gets to bed on time without whining and stalling, but also give her points for cooperative behavior and for following the bedtime routine. Together you and your child mark the earned points on a chart or calendar. The points accumulate to earn various prizes: special privileges, activities, outings, or treats.

Relaxation exercises. Begin your going-to-bed routine with a short breathing, stretching, or body relaxation exercise. Here's a quick breathing technique. It not only helps children sleep better, but also develops mental focus and calmness throughout the day:

• Balloon-Belly Breathing. Put one hand on your abdomen, also called your belly. Pretend your belly is a balloon. Breathe in slowly, and feel your balloon-belly get bigger as it fills with air … And breathe out slowly … and feel your balloon-belly get flatter as you let the air out. Repeat 3 to 4 times.

Offer some choices. Let kids pick the pajamas they’d like to wear. Let them pick the book or story they’d like to read or hear. Let them choose whether to brush their teeth before or after they dress for bed.

Read a story aloud. Or make up a story. Tell stories from your own life. Speak with a soothing, calm voice. Sit close or snuggle with your child especially during story time.

Leave a night-light on or a flashlight by the bed.

Say goodnight and leave the room. Leave while your child is still awake. Let him know you are nearby, but avoid returning every time he calls out with a request. If your child doesn’t want you to leave, remind him that you will have more time together the following day.

Childhood experts report that children should not need a parent to help them fall asleep. When children learn to fall asleep without a parent there, they are better able to sleep through the entire night or go back to sleep easily when they do wake up.

Parents, Relax Yourselves! Tune in to yourself often. It’s a good idea to develop awareness of your own feelings and tensions throughout the day and evening. Then you can better monitor and modify your own reactions to your child's moods and behaviors.

If you’re worked up and feeling stressed, impatient, or sleep-deprived yourself, you can’t model calmness and relaxed centeredness for your child. Remember that tensions and moods are contagious. Set aside some relaxation time for yourself every day. Let your child see that you make this time a priority, so your child will also value relaxation time and sleep.